I need something to keep me entertained while Andrea is away for the holiday. I know if I don't find something or someone that will distract me, I will probably just lay lifeless on the couch watching TV. Maybe I'll skip out on a day or two of work to catch up on my afternoon reruns.

God damn she's really annoying when she has exams. I can't do anything in our place that involves noise. I might just be subconsciously punishing her though, because I spent all this money for her Christmas gifts in hopes that she would score me a Wii, because that is all I really want. However, she is very convincing when she says she isn't getting me one. It's fucking annoying to me because I assumed she was getting me one, so in my head I kept thinking, shit, I need to buy some nice stuff to equal her gift. Plus all I got her last year was a Bears shirt. Alright I'll get er something special. Stupid! I should just be happy that I got her stuff that she wants, and she'll really appreciate it. Instead, I think about how if I didn't spend so much I could get a Wii sooner than later.

I want a Wii. I can't say it any other way. I will not, nor ever overpay for a system. I will not contribute to that evil practice of preying on the desperate. I don't care if you stood in line all night, I ain't giving you a $100 service charge on top of the MSRP, though I haven't felt this desperate for a system in a really long time. I can't afford to pay more.

We'll see what happens. I know what will distract me, and that will be writing about my favorite music this year. I keep adding albums to the list, and wondering if I can put EP's up there, or compilations, but I'll just highlight all the non-albums that I liked. Gotta get started on that. The year is almost over.

The real reason I brought up watching documentaries was that I watched Word Play, and I do one crossword every night before bed. Good for the brain.

I love Joanna Newsom's new album. It's probably going to be my album of the year. Either that or The Pipettes, or the Voxtrot EP's, though I can't give the meaningless award to a group of EP's can I...Voxtrot is good though, but...well I still have a couple of weeks to decide. I've made my process of selecting albums very democratic this year...voting track by track, taking into account the entire body of work, the flow of the album, etc. I made a pre-list before I starting scoring, and my current list is way off the pre-list, but that's good...it keeps me interested in this simple pleasure.

I've been getting a lot of documentaries lately from Netflix, and I feel like it's 1986, and I'm so easily influenced. I watch, I get angry, I get sick, and I vow to take a personal stance against Corporate America. I watch An Inconvenient Truth, I complain to everyone about global warming. Who Killed the Electric Car? I vow never to drive again until plug in cars are the new standard of automobiles. Tonight I watched Wal Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, and I just can't even say anything about it. If all of these empowered feelings are going to come and go, this one I will surely not let go. I just can't shop there anymore. And I'm going to try my best to make sure they don't build a Wal Mart here in downtown Chicago, though I just saw the cover of a local magazine celebrating the new Wal Mart that's coming to Chicago. Hopefully they're still in the early phases.

Back to what I was saying, I feel like documentaries now really have to sell to you what they want you to believe. You're also led to believe that everything is presented objectively from both sides. Well, maybe not all documentaries lead you to believe that, but somewhere in your mind you want to believe you can trust what these people are saying. Ever since Bowling for Columbine, documentaries have lost objectivity. I mean, hopefully you couldn't look at Columbine any other way except that you thought it was wrong. Fuckers had it coming... no one was saying anything like that, so getting people on Moore's side was easy in that case.

I'm just rambling cause I feel like it, and for once I am actually writing whilst the feelings are still inside of me. I'm not trying to tap into last week's sexual fiasco today. Everything is fresh inside.

I did, however, have a sexual fiasco. Pretty terrible. It feels a bit rocky between me and her right now. Maybe it's just because she has mid terms coming up. We usually experience some distant feelings during exam time, but I don't think she has the energy, or the capacity to feel those feelings of distance, because she studies so hard, and she is constantly focused, that life in those two weeks is breathing, eating, studying, occasional bathing, and sleeping. I've been able to deal with it quite well, but maybe the strain of having to do more during exam time is getting to me. My days off consist of pretty much maintaining order in the apartment, with cleaning, laundry, snow shoveling the sidewalk and backyard paths, etc. I'm glad to do it because it fucking makes you feel good when you see an almost perfect path to the alley amidst the snow covered backyard. It's a real guy moment where you have to just look and grunt.

I didn't perform well. There was pressures, different kinds. The pressure to get her there, the fact that she would get her period the next day along with the fact that it was going to be my last chance before heavy studying commenced so I'd better get my licks in while she was interested. It didn't end well, and I just curled up in bed, naked. She left me to clean herself up. We went shopping for some boots. I needed boots because I keep slipping across the frozen ice. I fell down the stairs last year, and my shoulder turned all purple. After I fell, I made it a priority to take care of shoveling and salting down our area around the building, because I don't like physical pain very much, and I go through paranoid thoughts daily to make sure I don't get hurt. I needed some waterproof boots with good traction. We didn't give it another thought that day.