I've been getting a lot of documentaries lately from Netflix, and I feel like it's 1986, and I'm so easily influenced. I watch, I get angry, I get sick, and I vow to take a personal stance against Corporate America. I watch An Inconvenient Truth, I complain to everyone about global warming. Who Killed the Electric Car? I vow never to drive again until plug in cars are the new standard of automobiles. Tonight I watched Wal Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, and I just can't even say anything about it. If all of these empowered feelings are going to come and go, this one I will surely not let go. I just can't shop there anymore. And I'm going to try my best to make sure they don't build a Wal Mart here in downtown Chicago, though I just saw the cover of a local magazine celebrating the new Wal Mart that's coming to Chicago. Hopefully they're still in the early phases.

Back to what I was saying, I feel like documentaries now really have to sell to you what they want you to believe. You're also led to believe that everything is presented objectively from both sides. Well, maybe not all documentaries lead you to believe that, but somewhere in your mind you want to believe you can trust what these people are saying. Ever since Bowling for Columbine, documentaries have lost objectivity. I mean, hopefully you couldn't look at Columbine any other way except that you thought it was wrong. Fuckers had it coming... no one was saying anything like that, so getting people on Moore's side was easy in that case.

I'm just rambling cause I feel like it, and for once I am actually writing whilst the feelings are still inside of me. I'm not trying to tap into last week's sexual fiasco today. Everything is fresh inside.

I did, however, have a sexual fiasco. Pretty terrible. It feels a bit rocky between me and her right now. Maybe it's just because she has mid terms coming up. We usually experience some distant feelings during exam time, but I don't think she has the energy, or the capacity to feel those feelings of distance, because she studies so hard, and she is constantly focused, that life in those two weeks is breathing, eating, studying, occasional bathing, and sleeping. I've been able to deal with it quite well, but maybe the strain of having to do more during exam time is getting to me. My days off consist of pretty much maintaining order in the apartment, with cleaning, laundry, snow shoveling the sidewalk and backyard paths, etc. I'm glad to do it because it fucking makes you feel good when you see an almost perfect path to the alley amidst the snow covered backyard. It's a real guy moment where you have to just look and grunt.

I didn't perform well. There was pressures, different kinds. The pressure to get her there, the fact that she would get her period the next day along with the fact that it was going to be my last chance before heavy studying commenced so I'd better get my licks in while she was interested. It didn't end well, and I just curled up in bed, naked. She left me to clean herself up. We went shopping for some boots. I needed boots because I keep slipping across the frozen ice. I fell down the stairs last year, and my shoulder turned all purple. After I fell, I made it a priority to take care of shoveling and salting down our area around the building, because I don't like physical pain very much, and I go through paranoid thoughts daily to make sure I don't get hurt. I needed some waterproof boots with good traction. We didn't give it another thought that day.