Nortriptyline, yes?

This medication is used to treat mental/mood problems such as depression. It may help improve mood and feelings of well-being, relieve anxiety and tension, help you sleep better, and increase your energy level. This medication belongs to a class of medications called tricyclic antidepressants. It works by affecting the balance of certain natural chemicals (neurotransmitters) in the brain.
OTHER USES: This section contains uses of this drug that are not listed in the approved professional labeling for the drug but that may be prescribed by your health care professional. Use this drug for a condition that is listed in this section only if it has been so prescribed by your health care professional.
This medication may also be used to treat other mental/mood problems (e.g., anxiety, bipolar disorder), certain types of pain (e.g., peripheral neuropathy), and neuropathic pain. It may also be used as an aid to quitting smoking.

For my birthday, I spent my morning at the doctors office running my fingernails across the wooden arm rests. I was extremely nervous because I haven't seen a doctor in almost two years, and I don't really feel all that healthy. The secretary, medical assistants, and the doctor all wished me happy birthday, which was nice.

I have spent many sleepless night dreading the thought of seeing a doctor. Everytime I am short of breath, or my intestines are trying to push that Italian beef with hot peppers through, or when I go up three flights of stairs with sweat touching my lips, I think crap, I need to see a doctor. I already know what he or she would say, but I guess I need to hear it from the horse's mouth. Stop smoking, exercise, and eat better. Honestly, living with a med student has helped me eat better, though I still occasionally eat out whenever there really is no food at home. Sometimes, we're just too busy to go to the store, so I have no choice. It's not like back home living with my mother. There were always leftovers in my fridge, but still I opted for a hot cheeseburger and the greasiest of fried trimmings. Now, when there isn't any food at home, the fridge, cupboards, the entire kitchen is bone dry. If I really had to I could make a concoction of various condiments and sauces, but nothing that tasted good.

I'm really trying to exercise, though the thought of displaying my crawling, sweaty, winded, out of shape body to Taylor St scares me like dogbites. We bought some weights, and even a Gazelle.





We had no room for this contraption, so we stuck it in the closet, which was a bad idea. Once the closet door is closed, poof! Gone from thought. I need to exercise, but I can't go outside to do that, and there's nothing inside, so...I guess I'll just eat some nachos and watch Sports Center for the third time. I was really good about exercising regularly for about two months, but August really killed me. Andrea wasn't working, so we spent a lot of time together, and before I knew it she was going to bed, and I had to have quiet time. No exercising, and if I want to watch television, I have to put headphones on.

I hate trying to fall asleep. Sleeping is not the problem, it's trying to go to bed at a respectable time. My mind is always thinking about the silliest of things. I need to pay bills, I wonder what you're doing, I forgot to check MySpace, What was that noise, toss turn, I hope I didn't wake her, okay lie perfectly still, that's uncomfortable, I have that ABBA song in my head again, I didn't know there was a trance version of that song that MARS used to play, it's a good fucking song, fuck it I give up. Turn on Sports Center replay number five.

So apparently, this magic drug will help me sleep, AND it'll help me quit smoking. Doesn't do much in terms of giving me the desire to exercise, but two out of three isn't bad. The doctor who I saw was a nice young fella. He made me feel safe, and he didn't lecture me in anything. He didn't grab my nuts either which was a bonus. However, I had to get a cholesterol test, so thumbs down on that. I hate needles+seeing my own blood.

The rest of my day was just as I had hoped. It was just another Friday. I didn't have work, so I had the entire day just to lollygag. I cleaned the apartment, watched some TV, had lunch with Andrea...It was good. I didn't want it to be the day I turned 26. I did get smashed that evening, but that's normal for a Friday anyway.

The funny thing is that I started taking my medication on Saturday, and all I could do was lie in bed waiting for it to kick in. The doctor made it seem like it was this super power drug that's going to make you disoriented, tired, and possibly want to kill yourself. It sort of excited me just thinking about all the cool side effects. Of course, nothing happened, except I did get one side effect: dry mouth. Of all the god damn side effects I got stuck with dry mouth. I couldn't even get to sleep because I was literally up all night thinking about swallowing that white and peach colored capsule. So fucking terrible not sleeping because I had work in the morning. That's when my birthday called out to me saying, just call in sick! It's your birthday weekend! I could finally accept that I'm 26, and that it was my duty to not go to work so I could catch up on sleep and watch football.